Humans
Who
Tune
Out
Of
Ego
And
Into
The
Abyss
Die
And
Gain
Eternal
Life
Saturday 28 February 2009
Thursday 26 February 2009
waiting for the messiah
You may think that because you moved away from organized religion, or moved into the more esoteric/mystical aspects of religion and/or spirituality, that you think it is silly that people are waiting for the messiah to return to straighten things out. "Some people are so stupid," you think. You may think that because you are seeking enlightenment or seeking truth that you have given up the waiting game and are taking on the truth yourself. You may think about how stupid and primitive people are for believing in some rumored super-being that they've never actually seen.
Consequently, if you are waiting for a special experience, then you are waiting for the messiah. You want some help, some guidance, someone or something to tell you "there it is, you have it." It keeps your spiritual pursuit going. It keeps all the spiritual/enlightened egos going. It keeps the giddy feelings you get from thinking about the concepts going.
What are you waiting for? Are you waiting for the messiah? How much longer will you wait?
Consequently, if you are waiting for a special experience, then you are waiting for the messiah. You want some help, some guidance, someone or something to tell you "there it is, you have it." It keeps your spiritual pursuit going. It keeps all the spiritual/enlightened egos going. It keeps the giddy feelings you get from thinking about the concepts going.
What are you waiting for? Are you waiting for the messiah? How much longer will you wait?
who can hear this?
The only way you'll ever grow up is by taking an honest look at what is actually going on in your experience as well as everything you've been avoiding your whole life: fear, death, destruction, motivations, beliefs, assumptions, being false(pretending to be someone/something you're not, the hollow core of your personality), and being alone.
How long will you dabble with spiritual ideas (and material ideas...not that there is a difference) before you recognize that they are all dead ends? Will it ever come to a point where you want to find out what you really are? Will it ever come to a point where you want to know what this is all about? Who can hear this?
How long will you dabble with spiritual ideas (and material ideas...not that there is a difference) before you recognize that they are all dead ends? Will it ever come to a point where you want to find out what you really are? Will it ever come to a point where you want to know what this is all about? Who can hear this?
Death? Pah!
The question of what might happen after death became irrelevant for me. The notion of a continuation of the experiencer doesn't matter
when there's just no question of an experiencer anymore.
Experience will keep on going on for Nobodies everywhere until it
doesn't. The singular I-ness will keep on shining on through the shit,
looking at itself and pretending it's many.
when there's just no question of an experiencer anymore.
Experience will keep on going on for Nobodies everywhere until it
doesn't. The singular I-ness will keep on shining on through the shit,
looking at itself and pretending it's many.
It's Fucking Frustrating
To listen to me prattle on about indivisibility when your experience is of a self divided from the rest of the world. I remember that feeling well.
All I can say is that it is inevitable that the bottom will fall out of the bucket and that exposure to this message has a funny way of decoding who you thought you were.
You have been warned.
All I can say is that it is inevitable that the bottom will fall out of the bucket and that exposure to this message has a funny way of decoding who you thought you were.
You have been warned.
No Need To Be Confused
By those who implore you to Be Here Now or proclaim The Power of Now.
There isn't a 'now'. To say there is a 'now' implies that there is a past and a future which are real and that one can avoid being in this thing called the 'now'. These 'teachers' offer instruction how to keep in the now and even label the past as 'past now' and future as 'future now'. How perplexing!
It's all utter nonsense.
'Past' is just memory streaming and 'future' is just memory projected.
You can stick your head in the sand all you like but come on. You know there is only ever this.
There isn't a 'now'. To say there is a 'now' implies that there is a past and a future which are real and that one can avoid being in this thing called the 'now'. These 'teachers' offer instruction how to keep in the now and even label the past as 'past now' and future as 'future now'. How perplexing!
It's all utter nonsense.
'Past' is just memory streaming and 'future' is just memory projected.
You can stick your head in the sand all you like but come on. You know there is only ever this.
If You Meet The Buddha On The Road, Kill Him
Whatever you are looking to as an outside authority is keeping you stuck.
Any teacher who places himself on any kind of ladder is a fraud, is mistaken or has a screw lose.
There is no such thing as outside authority. What you perceive as authority appears in consciousness and is part of the totality. There are no divisions in the universe. You merely project a net on reality and in truth, you, the net and 'reality' are unbounded, indivisible and hologram-thin.
Keep tearing down those walls, baby.
Any teacher who places himself on any kind of ladder is a fraud, is mistaken or has a screw lose.
There is no such thing as outside authority. What you perceive as authority appears in consciousness and is part of the totality. There are no divisions in the universe. You merely project a net on reality and in truth, you, the net and 'reality' are unbounded, indivisible and hologram-thin.
Keep tearing down those walls, baby.
Proof
No need to believe any of this. Beliefs are votive, they have to do with what you would like to be true, more story.
What I'm talking about here is a priori, self-evident, immediate and obvious.
The proof is in the pudding, so tuck in!
What I'm talking about here is a priori, self-evident, immediate and obvious.
The proof is in the pudding, so tuck in!
Story Time
No need to pay attention to the story of your life. When it comes, enjoy it, because fighting it and 'Killing Your Ego' is just another story. There's always gonna be a story.
Realise, though, that the story isn't always there, that it is just another story, that it has nothing to do with what is the case.
What is the case is who you are and to concretize into merely a story is fraudulent.
Realise, though, that the story isn't always there, that it is just another story, that it has nothing to do with what is the case.
What is the case is who you are and to concretize into merely a story is fraudulent.
Wednesday 25 February 2009
Doesn't Matter
Matter is such a fundamental thing, and when it doesn't matter I'm free. Mattering is what happens, but mattering doesn't matter. Meter comes from the word matter as does 'mother' and thus every other thing.
'Matter': The substance or substances of which any physical object consists or is composed: the matter of which the earth is made.
'Matter': The substance or substances of which any physical object consists or is composed: the matter of which the earth is made.
Origin 1175–1225; Woody part of a tree, material, substance, deriv. of māter (mother)
Matter. Mother. Ma. Maya...
Maya: The transitory, manifold appearance of the sensible world, which obscures the undifferentiated spiritual reality from which it originates; the illusory appearance of the sensible world of matter.
Matter. Mother. Ma. Maya...
Maya: The transitory, manifold appearance of the sensible world, which obscures the undifferentiated spiritual reality from which it originates; the illusory appearance of the sensible world of matter.
When matter doesn't matter you're free.
Autobiography
I love stories. Especially my own. But a story is a story is a story and whatever happened to me will certainly not happen for you.
Still, apparently people want to hear so here it is. A big fat dollop of Ego Ice Cream.
Somehow, all spiritual quests begin in cliche and end in laughter. The laughter is to do with what you thought had been true all along, that you had been fooled in the most fundamental way.
I'd been vaguely spiritual since little, piling down the yoga books, tantric treatise and lighting votive incense. Of course, these things brighten up the corners but do not de-lodge you from the matrix of me.
When I was in my early 20's, I went off to India with the hope of meditating my way out of 'Samsara'. As a good friend of mine says, meditating is just staring at the back of your eyeballs. I escaped Camp Buddha and went downtown, and smoked hash with the locals. This was far more interesting.
A yearning had opened up in me though, for something I already knew.
For years I messed around with Gurdjieff, Kabalah, Vedanta, Vegetarianism, Shamanism, Hatha Yoga, psychedelic psychotherapy, 'non-duality' and many more dead end streets peopled by colourful 'beings' all Phony-Holy and trying loudly to convince everyone their story was true. It was all bullshit. There was always an agenda.
I ended up sitting in front of an old man in a cardigan who didn't have an agenda. He kept telling me that there is no self, there is no division and there is just this.
Pah, I thought. Another one. But I kept coming to hear him, I don't know why. It made me nervous to listen.
One day I took myself off to sit in a park to read and write and sunbathe. I was filled with an adventurous sense of child-like wonder and a strange nervous energy.
As I sat there, reading, one line struck me, it read:
'Zoom out, until there is no sense of self, no sense of duality'. It hit me like an eighteen-wheeler.
I felt light headed, and everything seemed to thin out and brighten. I laid back, laughed, danced around, wrote poetry, read Whitman and it finally all made perfect sense. THERE WAS NO ME ! THERE NEVER HAD BEEN! WOAH!
Since that day, the me-contraction has come in and out but it doesn't convince any more. Not at all.
Nothing can force your liberation. You read this and your mind whirrs and goes 'what book?', 'what park?', 'how can I develop a sense of childlike wonder?'
No no no.
You're missing it.
It's here.
Your eyes, looking at the screen (apparently).
Feelings in your body (apparently).
What you think of as yourself is a smear on the window of This.
Trying to see this hides it.
You are it.
What you are looking for is this, and there's simply nothing you can do to escape what is self evident already.
You don't need the next book, teacher or satsang. Face up to the fact that all that is merely spiritual entertainment. Nothing wrong with that but it ain't gonna set you free, baby.
What you really, really are is utterly free. Always has been. Cannot be otherwise.
Sadly, this-what-you-are cannot really be written about, certainly not directly described, but hey, stop fooling yourself. You know what I mean.
You
are
it.
Still, apparently people want to hear so here it is. A big fat dollop of Ego Ice Cream.
Somehow, all spiritual quests begin in cliche and end in laughter. The laughter is to do with what you thought had been true all along, that you had been fooled in the most fundamental way.
I'd been vaguely spiritual since little, piling down the yoga books, tantric treatise and lighting votive incense. Of course, these things brighten up the corners but do not de-lodge you from the matrix of me.
When I was in my early 20's, I went off to India with the hope of meditating my way out of 'Samsara'. As a good friend of mine says, meditating is just staring at the back of your eyeballs. I escaped Camp Buddha and went downtown, and smoked hash with the locals. This was far more interesting.
A yearning had opened up in me though, for something I already knew.
For years I messed around with Gurdjieff, Kabalah, Vedanta, Vegetarianism, Shamanism, Hatha Yoga, psychedelic psychotherapy, 'non-duality' and many more dead end streets peopled by colourful 'beings' all Phony-Holy and trying loudly to convince everyone their story was true. It was all bullshit. There was always an agenda.
I ended up sitting in front of an old man in a cardigan who didn't have an agenda. He kept telling me that there is no self, there is no division and there is just this.
Pah, I thought. Another one. But I kept coming to hear him, I don't know why. It made me nervous to listen.
One day I took myself off to sit in a park to read and write and sunbathe. I was filled with an adventurous sense of child-like wonder and a strange nervous energy.
As I sat there, reading, one line struck me, it read:
'Zoom out, until there is no sense of self, no sense of duality'. It hit me like an eighteen-wheeler.
I felt light headed, and everything seemed to thin out and brighten. I laid back, laughed, danced around, wrote poetry, read Whitman and it finally all made perfect sense. THERE WAS NO ME ! THERE NEVER HAD BEEN! WOAH!
Since that day, the me-contraction has come in and out but it doesn't convince any more. Not at all.
Nothing can force your liberation. You read this and your mind whirrs and goes 'what book?', 'what park?', 'how can I develop a sense of childlike wonder?'
No no no.
You're missing it.
It's here.
Your eyes, looking at the screen (apparently).
Feelings in your body (apparently).
What you think of as yourself is a smear on the window of This.
Trying to see this hides it.
You are it.
What you are looking for is this, and there's simply nothing you can do to escape what is self evident already.
You don't need the next book, teacher or satsang. Face up to the fact that all that is merely spiritual entertainment. Nothing wrong with that but it ain't gonna set you free, baby.
What you really, really are is utterly free. Always has been. Cannot be otherwise.
Sadly, this-what-you-are cannot really be written about, certainly not directly described, but hey, stop fooling yourself. You know what I mean.
You
are
it.
Wednesday 4 February 2009
Whatever is going on with you
Is what you are and is also not what you are.
It is unique to the 'you thing'.
It is passing show.
So it both is and is not what you are.
You are no-thing
and everything.
It is unique to the 'you thing'.
It is passing show.
So it both is and is not what you are.
You are no-thing
and everything.
You Will Never
Work it all out.
What you are looking for, is the very thing that is looking.
Looking for The Answer, precludes you ever finding one.
Thinking that there even is an answer is a presumption, based on an incredible ignorance.
There is only one thing you can ever possibly know for sure.
That is what you are.
What you are looking for, is the very thing that is looking.
Looking for The Answer, precludes you ever finding one.
Thinking that there even is an answer is a presumption, based on an incredible ignorance.
There is only one thing you can ever possibly know for sure.
That is what you are.
Tuesday 3 February 2009
This is all there is
Yep.
That too.
Even that.
And all of that is what you are.
(this can be understood with the head, but take a risk and fucking feel it)
That too.
Even that.
And all of that is what you are.
(this can be understood with the head, but take a risk and fucking feel it)
Try and get a sense
of IT doing you rather than "you" doing it.
If you find that there is still very much a sense of a ''you'' doing something or other, try and get a sense of IT doing that ''you-ing".
You can pretend all you like. But we're all the same thing, baby.
If you find that there is still very much a sense of a ''you'' doing something or other, try and get a sense of IT doing that ''you-ing".
You can pretend all you like. But we're all the same thing, baby.
Talking to myself
Do not confuse your physical location with what you truly, truly, truly are.
What you truly, truly, truly are has no location.
Zoom out, until there is no question of a location or a self.
Try and lose this.
It's unbreakable.
What you truly, truly, truly are has no location.
Zoom out, until there is no question of a location or a self.
Try and lose this.
It's unbreakable.
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